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Thursday, February 27

long time since i really post my thinkings here.. back to this blog..
well, tmr will be the releasing of the 'O' levels results.. though it dosen't really affect me much, or should i say it does?
whatever, i am worried as well. Worried about my friends results.. actually not much of worriness, its just the anxiousness that really freak everyone i suppose. Frankly, tmr is not me who is collecting it, but my seniors. however, i am already sort of tense up.. wow... what about next year? to me, all these seems to be stages whereby each and everyone of us will have to go thru it.. c'mon.. face up to it bravely.. its just life.. some of us choose to run away from it, but what's the point? in the end, you still have to face it. well, so much for all these sayings, i believe even the strongest will have to say "I can't do it.." well, i won't say they are a bunch of weaklings. for all you know, i may even be panicking like shit the next year before i get the results.. i would probably be jumping up and down, screaming in a hysterical voice like a lunatic person... well, who knows?

well, sometimes just come to think about it, it really is harder to face the exams then to face the results.. as the sayings goes, " 3 seconds on stage, 10 years hardwork.." well, this is definitely true. you reap what you sow, that's it. there's no free lunch in this world. sometimes even if you work hard, you might not even get what you want. that's what i believe. whatever it is, just do your best, and so you won't regret even if you had done badly in your exams. Cheers.

Heli Dont ask me why 7:22 PM

Tuesday, February 18

-This is a true story that happened in Japan.

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tear open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.When
tearing down the walls, he found that there is a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside got stuck into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity and at the same time curious, as when he check the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark
wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is not an easy task.
Then he remembered, how this lizard survived for 10
years without moving a single step - the feet was nailed!
So he stop the work and observe the lizard, what is it eating?

Later, don't know from where appears another lizard, with food in its mouth...
AHHH! He is stunted. What kind of love is this?
For the lizard that was stuck by a nail, another lizard has been
feeding it for the past 10 years ...

I am touched when I heard this story. And stop wondering the
relationship between them: family, friends, lovers, brothers, sisters......
As the technology advances, our access to information became
faster and faster. But the distance between the human beings, is it getting
closer as well?

Heli Dont ask me why 4:27 PM

Saturday, February 15

A LOVER'S CONCERTO
KELLY CHEN

how gentle is the rain
that falls softly on the meadow
birds high upon the trees
serenade the clouds
with their melody oh oh

how gentle is the rain
that falls softly on the meadow
birds high upon the trees
serenade the clouds
with their melody oh oh

see there beyond the hills
the bright colors of the rainbow
some magic from above
made this day for us
just to fall in love

you hold me in your arms
and say once again you love me
and if your love is true
everything will be
just as wonderful

(interlude)

now I belong to you
from this day until forever
just love me tenderly
and I'll give to you
every part of me

don't ever make me cry
through long lonely nights without love
be always true to me
keep this day in you heart eternally

you hold me in your arms
and say once again you love me
and if your love is true
everything will be
just as wonderful

Heli Dont ask me why 6:01 PM

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would for your life, without them, life is meaningless.
Happy Valentine's Day.

Heli Dont ask me why 12:02 AM

Think about this

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone, is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them; when the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips, you miss them? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? i guess the most important things are the hardest to say. they are the things you get ashamed of becoz words diminish them, words shrink things that seemed timeless when they were in your head... to no more than living size when they are brought out. dun be aftraid to tell someone you love them. if you do, they might break your heart... but if you don't, you might break theirs.. have you ever decide not to become a couple, becoz you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? your heart decides whom it likes and whom it dosen't. you can't tell your heart what to do. it does it on its own when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? too many of us stay walled becoz we are too afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all. have you ever loved someone and they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? or fell for you're best friend in the entire world, and then sat around and watched her/him fall for someone else? have you ever denied your feelings for someone, becoz your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? we tell lies when we are afraid of what will be found out about us. but everytime we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had. nothing waits forever...

Heli Dont ask me why 12:00 AM

Monday, February 10

"Sunrise"
Look to this day, for it is life
The very life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the realities and truths of existence:
the joy of growth,
the splendor of action,
the glory of power.
For yesterday is but a memory
And tomorrow is only a vision;
but today well lived
makes every yesterday a memory of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day!
- Ancient Sanskrit poem

Heli Dont ask me why 8:59 PM

Sunday, February 2

yoz everyone!~ guess many of you still busy collecting your hongbao.. hmm how was the "earnings"?
well.. today is chu er liao.. and i am at home the whole day.. duh.. in the afternoon wanted to go frienz house bai nian.. but sumbody juz not on lorz... den make me bored the whole day.. well being bored is bad.. but the feeling of loneliness is worst.. juz dun feel like staying at home.. my eldest brother was at home too.. well.. wonder how he lead his life.. seems so quiet.. unmoved..
well.. dunno.. this year new year is juz so very different.. without her around, makes my whole world topple.. though at times i kept saying, i am used to it. in fact, as days go by, i am juz even sadder.. the thought of not able to listen, to feel, to talk, and to see her again, it juz makes my heart weak.. pushing all the tears out from my eyes..

worst still, my relatives seems to be like those reporters.. one by one came asking me if i could accept a new mum.. i mean.. they juz kept on asking.. i felt so bad about it.. firstly is, they only question me.. secondly, i don't know what to answer.. i mean.. what can i say? can i say i object? who am i to decide on what the outcome maybe? even if i am unhappy with it, will my dad stop seeing her? i am so confused.. i don't know what to do.. yes.. its funny letting another 2 people to stay with our family.. and i had to call another lady "mum" whom in the first place i don't even dare to look at her face.. ironic.

my aunt tok to me yesterday. the way she talked to me, really make me feel a warm in my family again, sumone that cares.. i used to say i am okay wif my own life.. alone.. but i was wrong. i wanted people to care. i said once, even if my dad talked to me for lest than 5 sentences or lesser, i am already satisfied. that was enough to brighten my day. Warm. do i haf it...?

Heli Dont ask me why 8:38 PM

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